My favorite:

Driving While Intoxicated: A UT Police Officer observed a Toyota traveling the wrong way on a posted one-way street. During the traffic investigation, the officer asked the driver for his license. The officer was handed a credit card. The officer detected a strong odor of alcohol on the driver’s breath and noted other signs of intoxication. The officer administered the Standardized Field Sobriety tests. The non-UT driver displayed a number of clues that indicated he was intoxicated. The driver was taken into custody for Driving While Intoxicated and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 9-01-12, at 12:07 AM.

Close second:

Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A UT Police Officer observed a UT student staggering towards the restroom. The officer encountered the same student as he was urinating on the floor and missing the toilet completely. The officer learned the student had been consuming alcohol and was under the legal age of 21. The student was issued a field release citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor and ejected from the stadium. Occurred on: 9-08-12, at 8:15 PM.